Alzheimer’s Care at Home: Caring for family with Memory Care Needs

Caring for someone with Alzheimer’s is a deeply personal experience. It often begins with small changes — forgetting appointments, misplacing keys, or repeating questions — and gradually becomes a bigger part of daily life. For families across New Zealand, this journey can bring a mix of love, worry, frustration and deep responsibility.

Choosing to care for a loved one at home can be both comforting and empowering. It offers continuity, familiarity, and the chance to stay connected in a place that feels safe and known. With the right support, home can continue to be a good place to live well with Alzheimer’s — for both the person needing care and the whānau supporting them.

Understanding how Alzheimer’s progresses

Alzheimer’s affects everyone a little differently, but it generally progresses in three stages — each bringing new challenges and care needs.

• Early stage (mild): People might struggle to remember names, misplace items, or have trouble planning and organising. They’re often still quite independent, and support is more about gentle prompts, setting routines, and offering emotional reassurance.
• Middle stage (moderate): Memory loss becomes more noticeable. There may be confusion about time or place, changes in mood or behaviour, and more help needed with everyday tasks like dressing or cooking. This is often when family carers start to feel stretched.
• Late stage (advanced): Communication becomes more difficult, and physical support is often required. The person may no longer recognise people they love. At this stage, safety, comfort, and creating moments of calm and connection become key.

Knowing what to expect can help families prepare — emotionally and practically — and adapt care along the way.

Creating a supportive environment at home

There are a few simple things you can do to make life at home easier and more reassuring for someone living with Alzheimer’s:

• Stick to a routine. Regular mealtimes, consistent sleep and wake times, and familiar daily patterns can ease confusion and bring comfort.
• Keep things calm and clear. Reduce noise, remove clutter, and use soft lighting. Labelling drawers and rooms, or using visual cues like photos or coloured tape, can help with independence.
• Use gentle communication. Speak slowly, use short sentences, and allow time for a response. Try not to correct or argue — it’s okay to let small things go.
• Support independence where you can. If someone can still make a cup of tea or get dressed with a bit of guidance, let them. It can be good for their confidence and wellbeing.
• Plan for safety. Install locks on doors and cupboards if needed, keep medications out of reach, and watch for trip hazards like rugs or cords.

What to look for in a caregiver

If you’re thinking about bringing someone in to help, it’s important to find the right fit — someone who understands Alzheimer’s and respects your family’s needs and routines.

Here’s what to look for:

• Experience with memory care. Ask if they’ve worked with people with Alzheimer’s or other types of dementia. It makes a real difference.
• Calmness under pressure. Things don’t always go to plan. A calm, caring presence can be incredibly reassuring.
• Flexibility and reliability. Especially as needs change over time, it helps to have someone who can adapt and be there consistently.
• NZ-specific training or background. In New Zealand, while there’s no formal requirement for caregivers, it’s helpful to look for those who’ve completed NZQA health and wellbeing certificates, dementia training, or have experience through aged care providers.
• A human connection. Sometimes it’s the small things — a shared sense of humour, a similar cultural background, or a kind voice — that help build trust.

Mycare’s platform lets you browse local caregivers, read about their experience, and choose the person who feels right for you and your whānau.

A story from home: John and Margaret

When John’s mum Margaret started forgetting names and missing appointments, he wasn’t too worried. But over time, things changed. She began calling him late at night, unsure of the time. She’d leave the stove on or get confused at the supermarket. John, living nearby in Hamilton, knew she needed more support — but he didn’t want to take her out of her home, where she felt safe and grounded.

Through Mycare, John connected with Hana, a caregiver who had supported other families with Alzheimer’s. She started by visiting a few hours a week, helping with shopping, meals, and companionship. As Margaret’s needs grew, Hana took on more — gently guiding her through the day and helping John understand what to expect.

John says, “Hana gave me peace of mind. Mum loved her. And I could go to work knowing someone kind and capable was there.”

Caring for yourself while caring for someone else

It’s easy to put your own needs aside when someone you love needs help — but over time, that can lead to burnout, resentment or even health issues.

Here are some ways to care for yourself too:

• Take breaks. Even a few hours off can make a difference. Use respite care or get another family member involved regularly.
• Talk to someone. Whether it’s a friend, a counsellor, or a local support group, sharing what you’re going through helps. You’re not alone.
• Set realistic expectations. You can’t do everything perfectly. Be kind to yourself, and celebrate the small wins.
• Stay connected. Try not to let the caregiving role take over your whole identity. Make time for your own interests, hobbies, and relationships.
• Know when to ask for help. You don’t have to wait for a crisis. Bringing in support early can lighten the load and make things feel more manageable.

Support services for families in New Zealand

There are several organisations here in Aotearoa that offer free or low-cost help to families affected by Alzheimer’s:

• Alzheimers NZ – Offers education, support groups, and regional services across the country.
  Visit alzheimers.org.nz or call 0800 004 001.
• Dementia NZ – Provides local dementia navigators, carer education, and practical advice.
  See dementia.nz for details.
• Healthify and Carers NZ – Offer tips, checklists and resources for family carers.
  Explore healthify.nz and carers.net.nz
• Mycare – Helping connect you with the right caregiver in your area, with flexibility and control in your hands. You choose who to work with, how often, and when.

A final word

Alzheimer’s care at home isn’t easy — but it can be full of meaning, love, and moments that matter. With the right support, you can keep your loved one safe, comfortable, and connected — while also looking after yourself.

Ready to find someone who understands Alzheimer’s care? We’re here to help you make the next step feel a little easier.